. . . no matter what!
for this addition to my humor library!
A month or so go, librarian and blogger Gale Charlotte sent out a query for books that will make us laugh. What do you recommend? I'll start: Eleanor Oliphant is Perfectly Fine and Amy Poehler's Yes, Please!"
At the time, I was re - reading Annie Choi's Happy Birthday or Whatever: Track Suits, Kim Chee, and Other Family Disasters (2007) in preparation for her follow - up collection: Shut Up, You're Welcome: Thoughts on Life, Death, and Other Inconveniences (2013). I can only read Choi's wry insightful essays with a constant smirk on my face, so I contributed these titles to Gale's running list of over 50 choices.
I knew Annie and her hilarious mother ("Mommy so confuse!) would have me chortling through quarantine, but things took a more ironic turn midway through Shut Up. Her essay "When Disaster Strikes" opens with a few typical fear dreams -- you know, the roller coaster comes to a precipitous halt, the car goes off the bridge -- but, the author confides, "None of these things have actually ever happened to me." She goes on to analyze her obsession with imaginary emergency situations:
"While meditating on disasters, I've come up with a lot of tough questions. Could I start a campfire without matches if I were lost in the forest? Could I build a shelter in an ice storm? Could I cut off my own foot if it got caught under something? The answer to those questions is no. I'm not very handy. I don't have a good grip on physics, and I tend to avoid sharp objects. It would take me five minutes to perish if I were stranded in the Australian outback. . . . I'm ill - prepared to help during a true emergency. I don't know CPR, I'm too squeamish to put a dislocated shoulder back into its socket, I don't know how to leap out of a moving vehicle, and I can't lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. . . . I'm just not the kind of person who'd survive a catastrophe. . . .How ironic to be reading these words in April 2020 when, in fact, you cannot go for coffee or breakfast or dinner. When spanakopita is not to be had and the bookstores are shuttered against coronavirus. Indeed, Choi predicted the future: all that changes with a pandemic.
"I think this is why I enjoy thinking about disasters. I live a very low - adrenaline and low - carb lifestyle. I vacuum regularly. I like salad. My life is pretty mundane. Of course, I am grateful that my life is blissfully uneventful and stable. I have food and clean water and access to health care . . . But these daydreams help me realize how little control I have over my life. I can get up in the morning, make my coffee exactly how I like it, and plan exactly where I'll for go for dinner. I know what book I want all the spots where I can buy it. I know where to get the best spanakopita in the city. But all that can change with a shift of the tectonic plates or a cyclone or a pandemic." (141 - 42, emphasis added)
P.S.
And how strange to watch movies these days,
peopled with individuals and crowded groups engaging
in pre - corona behavior: shaking hands, hugging, and
spitting all over their birthday cakes at office parties!
No, thanks!
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